The WWR Chronicles - Part III

{In 2014, we undertook a HUGE remodel project.  During (and since) that time, several followers asked me to post photos of the remodel project (yes, really).  I never have...for the following (among other) reasons:(1) the project isn't really and truly "complete;" (2) I didn't have the sense (or time) to take good "before" photos; (3) I doubted a lot of people would be interested; (4) I really didn't know where to begin; and (5) By now, it's old news and I thought that most of those followers who had asked had long since drifted away. Well, with regard to the last point, I may be mostly correct, but there is, in fact, one faithful follower who still asks...and so begins the WWR Chronicles.  These will be divided into separate posts, and clearly labeled as such, so if you have no interest in WWR, you can pass over quickly with my blessing.  I have no idea HOW many segments there will be at this point (heck, they, like the remodel project, may never end)....but I do intend to intersperse "regular" blog posts in between the chronicles so as not to completely drive you all away. Oh...and if you're wondering what WWR stands for:  WHEN WE REMODELED)  To first-time visitors and passers-by: this is really not my typical blog fodder LOL.....}  

For Part II of the The WWR Chronicles, click on the following link:  The WWR Chronicles ~ Part II

For Part I of The WWR Chronicles, click on the following link:  The WWR Chronicles ~ Part I

Part III

{WARNING: Contains explicit, ugly, photos....viewer discretion is advised.}

Now, where was I? Oh yes...the day Henry the Handyman extricated the world's smallest toilet from the little bathroom in the teeny, tiny, house in Nod and changed the Crows' world forever....

The deed was done...there was no turning back.  Henry the Handyman left the teeny, tiny, house in Nod to return to town to purchase the (normal-sized) toilet Mama Crow WOULD have purchased days prior had it fit under the now-removed ugly counter top, and Papa Crow had flown the nest...as he was prone to do at times like this.  (The latter point will be a recurring theme in The WWR Chronicles...take note for future reference....)  This left Snow Dog to ponder why the world's smallest toilet was now outside rather than in (a thing only dogs must ponder) and left Mama Crow alone with time to think....WAY too much time to think....

As Mama Crow looked at the wallpaper, now ripped, taped and stained by a liquid toilet bowl cleaner from years ago (life lesson: don't ever use liquid toilet bowl cleaner when you have wallpapered walls unless you have an amazing aim), it screamed "Tres 80's!!" at her....  The linoleum flooring that Papa Crow had stained attempting a tub drain fix nearly leaped up at her saying "Replace me!!" The wall-to-wall mirror with its bar row of naked bulbs suddenly looked garish and like it perhaps had a former life in a house of ill-repute.  And, of course, the nauseating revolting unattractive flesh-colored counter top whimpered in naked, exposed, pain where it had been severed from its extension.  No, simply plunking in a new toilet where the old had been would never never fly....

And so it began....The little bath remodel gone rogue.  You see, the second recurring theme in the remodel experience of the Crows is that one small change inevitably would start a domino effect... Papa Crow (when he reappeared) accepted that a new counter top would be in order given that, at some point, it too had been stained by the same rogue toilet bowl cleaner, and there was now an uneven cut edge to it. But, did it pay to simply replace the counter top when the handmade vanity beneath needed much TLC? Of course not! And, you do remember that NOTHING in the teeny, tiny, house in Nod was "standard,"...so, of course, a standard sized vanity would not FIT where the old vanity stood.... In addition, replacing the entire vanity would mean new fixtures....But, alas, Henry the Handyman had yet more bad news up his chambray shirt sleeve: The fixtures could no longer be purchased in the bright brass finish that the accountant had chosen for the bathroom in the teeny, tiny, house in Nod, so the sink fixtures would no long match the shower fixtures (and as you oughta know by now....the bathroom in the teeny, tiny, house in Nod was SMALL, so, of course, one would notice that they did not match)..... And, if the bath and shower fixtures were also changed out, the shower door would need to be changed as well because....you guessed it....it was framed in the bright brass of which the tasteless accountant was apparently so fond.  So, soon, the little bathroom in the teeny, tiny, house in Nod looked like this:

    

And look like that it did for some time unfortunately....because, as you will come to understand, in addition to the domino effect, nothing in the Crows' world goes smoothly (Recurring Theme No. 3).  In fact, the little bath's facelift took well over a year when all was said and done.  Henry the Handyman built the custom-sized vanity, but, regrettably, he waited to build it until the counter top was ordered and scheduled for delivery (a several month process)....only to find out that they would not deliver the counter top until the vanity was installed resulting in a delay of many months.....

 Then, the company in France from which Mama Crow ordered the vanity drawer pulls unexpectedly shut down for a 3-month hiatus....and when the pulls finally did arrive, they were not the pewter finish she had ordered but.....you guessed it, the tasteless accountant's bright brass finish that Mama Crow was told was no longer available! 

The tub fixtures could not be ordered in the same configuration as they had been in (another unique touch by the accountant) and so had to be jimmy-rigged (because Papa Crow insisted that the tile in the shower NOT be replaced since it had been redone only a few years prior after Little Crow put his hand through the old tile while showering....) (Did I mention that the accountant was not such a great builder??)

 The light fixture ordered to replace the brothel kinky original light came in the wrong finish and was returned twice before Mama Crow gave up and had it painted. 

 (The counter top that was ultimately delivered was not the color Mama Crow had received samples of and ordered either, but at this point, Mama Crow decided to be a bit more like her cousins, the ducks...and let it roll off her back.)

 Many of the design and color choices were dictated by pre-existing choices in the room (i.e., the shower tile color dictated the flooring color, which dictated the wall color; the stained wood ceiling, doors and trim, dictated the vanity finish, etc.) (Take note....Recurring Theme No. 4).  

    

But, in then end, Mama Crow was fairly pleased with it (more likely just relieved to have it FINISHED). 

And I bet you're thinking that's it....the end of The WWR Chronicles.... But oh, you would be so very, very, wrong....It truly was only the beginning....

{To Be Continued....}

The WWR Chronicles ~ Part II

{In 2014, we undertook a HUGE remodel project.  During (and since) that time, several followers asked me to post photos of the remodel project (yes, really).  I never have...for the following (among other) reasons:(1) the project isn't really and truly "complete;" (2) I didn't have the sense (or time) to take good "before" photos; (3) I doubted a lot of people would be interested; (4) I really didn't know where to begin; and (5) By now, it's old news and I thought that most of those followers who had asked had long since drifted away. Well, with regard to the last point, I may be mostly correct, but there is, in fact, one faithful follower who still asks...and so begins the WWR Chronicles.  These will be divided into separate posts, and clearly labeled as such, so if you have no interest in WWR, you can pass over quickly with my blessing.  I have no idea HOW many segments there will be at this point (heck, they, like the remodel project, may never end)....but I do intend to intersperse "regular" blog posts in between the chronicles so as not to completely drive you all away. Oh...and if you're wondering what WWR stands for:  WHEN WE REMODELED)  To first-time visitors and passers-by: this is really not my typical blog fodder LOL.....}  

For Part I of The WWR Chronicles, click on the following link:  The WWR Chronicles ~ Part I

Part II
{WARNING: Contains explicit, ugly, photos....viewer discretion is advised.}

Yes....the day the toilet broke in the little house was an remarkable day...as it marked the beginning of changes that no one...and especially not the Crows....could have ever anticipated.

  You see, the little house had been originally built by an accountant....who, by all accounts, was a very fine accountant indeed...but, ummm, not so much a builder.  It's not that his workmanship was not commendable, but things were not necessarily built according to "code," and, by no means were things "standard."  Whenever the Crows needed to replace something (such as windows, doors, etc.), they learned that it was a "custom" size and had to be essentially built to order (which, to be fair, led in part to Papa's Crow reluctance to change anything in the little house).

And so it was with the toilet.  Somehow, the accountant had found the world's smallest toilet to put in the little house's little (and only) bathroom.  To add insult to injury, the accountant then installed a nauseating revolting unattractive flesh-colored countertop around the sink and over the top of world's smallest toilet, and above that, a wall to wall mirror with a bar of naked bulb lights.  After serving nobly for 30+ years, however, the day came when the world's smallest toilet flushed its last load, and gave up the ghost.  Refusing to believe that it could not be fixed, Papa Crow summoned three separate plumbers. Alas, each and every one confirmed the fact that whatever malady had afflicted the little toilet was irreversible, the damage irreparable and the toilet terminal. 

Mama Crow was promptly dispatched to find a replacement....but quickly surmised that the toilets for sale in the 3 stores she visited seemed somewhat "large" by comparison to the little toilet in the little house.  She came home and explained her dilemma to Papa Crow, who found this unbelievable, and who, the following day, armed with measurements, went himself to find a replacement.  However, he, too, came home toilet-less.  But Papa Crow was not one to give up easily...especially since the thought of being toiletless was less than pleasant...and the following day, he sent Mama Crow back out shopping...this time accompanied by Henry, the handyman from Nod.  Alas....the two of them fared no better than the previous days. 

In the following days, Henry the Handyman also scoured resources online looking for a toilet that would fit under the ugly countertop that extended over the toilet...but came to realize that the little house's toilet had not only been the world's smallest toilet, its kind was apparently now extinct.  So Henry returned to the little house with a saw, a crowbar (no pun intended) and several other "serious" looking tools and did something that changed life as they knew it for the Crows.

Henry the Handyman cut the ugly flesh-colored countertop and removed the portion that extended over the toilet...and then removed the world's smallest toilet from the little bathroom in the little, teeny, tiny, house in Nod.

And that was that...it was gone.

{To Be Continued....}