Red, White and (Still) Blue....

The first words are the hardest it seems.  I know regular readers of my blog may find that somewhat difficult to believe since, most of the time, I have a love affair with words.  But it's true.  Like putting a project or a relationship down and walking away....sometimes picking things up again becomes crippling...at least for me.

So bear with me - I am struggling to regain my balance on that bicycle of life that I keep falling off of.

Pain comes in many forms.

In my time "away" (figuratively speaking only, trust me), I pulled some skeletons out of my closet (again, the figurative ones...the literal ones are still there and thriving).  The first was this RED work piece I started well over a year ago:

("Centennial Eagles" by Tina Woltman)

I had completed the eagle on the left, the 1776, the star motif to the left of it and the center motif before putting it away.  When I pulled it out again, I started on the right side and had to start a new skein of floss.  Clever me had known I would need more than one skein of floss and had purchased two but, yeah...you guessed it, the dye lots were not the same.  The eagle on the left was definitely much lighter than the one on the right.  So, yes....you guessed it again...I am frogging the eagle on the left.   (You can see in the photo below the difference in the floss from the top of the head (redone) of the eagle on the left to the bottom (yet to be redone).  Then the issue will be whether to redo the center tree/flower thing, the 1776 and the star to the left of it (essentially re-stitching the whole thing) knowing full well that, once again, I will have to start a new skein of floss taking a ride on the color lotto.  (You wonder why some things are put side and abandoned??)

I also completed hooking the WHITE Whale (a/k/a "the Beast").  "Final finishing" it will be a ways off.  It needs some serious blocking (it's a large rug and I only have a small-ish Puritan frame and I believe parts of it stretched along the way). I also have to decide whether I am going to just bind it or try to mount it on a frame.  So don't hold your breath for a final finish.

("White Whale Tavern" by The Paisley Studio)

As for something BLUE, I started this pattern from The Tattered Flag: "13 Stars."  Nine of the thirteen stars hooked and no two alike.  Go figure.  (Note to self:  Self does not like hooking stars.)

I hope you forgive my abrupt departure and hesitant re-entrance, and also forgive me that I cannot put into words here all that is going on in my world.  It is a culmination of many "littles" that has broke me and sometimes I feel like a ghost in my own life.

I know that the most necessary part of growing up is figuring out where your empty spaces are and figuring out, too, how to fill them for yourself.

Please be patient with me.  I certainly know where many of my empty spaces are, but the second part is proving to be a bit of a challenge.