Saturday, May 15, 2021

Red, White and (Still) Blue....


The first words are the hardest it seems.  I know regular readers of my blog may find that somewhat difficult to believe since, most of the time, I have a love affair with words.  But it's true.  Like putting a project or a relationship down and walking away....sometimes picking things up again becomes crippling...at least for me.

So bear with me - I am struggling to regain my balance on that bicycle of life that I keep falling off of.
Pain comes in many forms.

In my time "away" (figuratively speaking only, trust me), I pulled some skeletons out of my closet (again, the figurative ones...the literal ones are still there and thriving).  The first was this RED work piece I started well over a year ago:

("Centennial Eagles" by Tina Woltman)

I had completed the eagle on the left, the 1776, the star motif to the left of it and the center motif before putting it away.  When I pulled it out again, I started on the right side and had to start a new skein of floss.  Clever me had known I would need more than one skein of floss and had purchased two but, yeah...you guessed it, the dye lots were not the same.  The eagle on the left was definitely much lighter than the one on the right.  So, yes....you guessed it again...I am frogging the eagle on the left.   (You can see in the photo below the difference in the floss from the top of the head (redone) of the eagle on the left to the bottom (yet to be redone).  Then the issue will be whether to redo the center tree/flower thing, the 1776 and the star to the left of it (essentially re-stitching the whole thing) knowing full well that, once again, I will have to start a new skein of floss taking a ride on the color lotto.  (You wonder why some things are put side and abandoned??)


I also completed hooking the WHITE Whale (a/k/a "the Beast").  "Final finishing" it will be a ways off.  It needs some serious blocking (it's a large rug and I only have a small-ish Puritan frame and I believe parts of it stretched along the way). I also have to decide whether I am going to just bind it or try to mount it on a frame.  So don't hold your breath for a final finish.

("White Whale Tavern" by The Paisley Studio)

As for something BLUE, I started this pattern from The Tattered Flag: "13 Stars."  Nine of the thirteen stars hooked and no two alike.  Go figure.  (Note to self:  Self does not like hooking stars.)


I hope you forgive my abrupt departure and hesitant re-entrance, and also forgive me that I cannot put into words here all that is going on in my world.  It is a culmination of many "littles" that has broke me and sometimes I feel like a ghost in my own life.
I know that the most necessary part of growing up is figuring out where your empty spaces are and figuring out, too, how to fill them for yourself.

Please be patient with me.  I certainly know where many of my empty spaces are, but the second part is proving to be a bit of a challenge.


22 comments:

Shrimpton and Perfect said...

Dearest Robin, so sad to read of your troubles weighing heavy on your shoulders. I wish I could pop round to see you to give you some cheer. Sending hugs and affecion through the airwaves instead. Jean. x

kcmrugs@gmail.com said...

Your needle piece and rugs are things of beauty! I especially like the whale tavern sign rug. It’s good to see your post, Brave One.

acorn hollow said...

I am so sorry life has become hard for you. But so pleased you are here and sharing. I wish I had some grand advice to help you but I do not.
I can not believe you are taking out that eagle! so much work. I love the beast. I have hooked some very large rugs on my purtain frame and they have been fine.
Take care and keep posting
Cathy

Saundra said...

The Beautiest beast is wonderful!!!!! Your stars look just fine to me and they look like a narrow cut. I'm hooking my stars in #8.5 and they sure won't be all the same but that's okay with me. As long as they can be identified as a star I'm okay. I've never done cross stitch but can only imagine how frustrating it is to have something go wrong with that. That's another thing I'll never ever do....cross stitch.
Nice to have you back and am sorry it seems as tho life is giving you lemons.

Lady Locust said...

I actually like it with 2 dye lots - You know there's a story~ what happened in between, your frustrations with dye lots, we all end up being human etc.
And whatever is weighing on your heart dear one, I do pray for mercy and peace for you as you address what is necessary. ((hugs))

Rugs and Pugs said...

LOL. More than I wanted to know about Jose’s genital area.
I LOVE your cross stitch! No way would I be frogging that.
As I have said before, the Beast is magnificent. Your new project is pretty cool, too. I think the stars look terrific even if not match-matchy.
So good to see a post from you. No wonderful words of wisdom here. Just know we care about you and wish you peace and calm.
Hugs!
xoxo ET

Constance said...

I'm so glad to see you back I have missed your blog. Please take care the last year and a half has been difficult. I'm praying things will improve as the weeks pass.

Please take care,

marly said...

Oh boy. My mind left weeks ago, but it still thinks about Big Crow, Little Crow, Mama Crow, Furry Crows, and my favorite, Cranky Crow. Why isn't there a pill to stop racing hearts, upset stomachs, crying jags, and grinding teeth? Therapists take too damn long, and nod as if they understand. What you are feeling, what I am feeling, what others are feeling, can't be the same as the people that tell you they've been there. They have. But we are all different in emotion, acceptance, tolerance. I wish I could help, but all I have to offer is an ear and a cyber hug.

Love all those projects. I would have taken a tiny angled artist brush, tapped a little Ranger coffee or sepia ink pad, and made the reds look overdyed. Lazy, yes. But my other option would be a fire. Stars are never the same in cross stitch either when they get a tilt. Who is? That whale is fantastic.

Jean Bee said...

I'm glad to see a post from you..but wish you were feeling better. I love all your pieces..especially the whale! Makes me want to get my unfinished projects out! Hang in there...you are strong!

Olde Dame Holly said...

I am glad you are back. I have no wise words, but I have some words I try to live by: "Eat when you are hungry. Drink when you are thirsty. If you are tired, rest. If you are bored, find what you want to do and do it." And, "Keep on keeping on." The first bit of advice is very hard. It is very, very hard to effectively break with society and culture to do those simple things like "eat when you are hungry" and "do what you want to do" because juxtaposed against such "simple" thoughts are pressures to eat lunch at lunchtime, to serve dinner at this time, to rest during the night hours like a nice "normal" person, and work doing something society deems worth doing. To buck anything and try for self-actualization and please ONESELF for once can be really TUFF. My 10 cents...(I went over the 2-cent limit, pfffffft). I'm probably on the wrong track with my comment but my heart's in the right place and I hope yours feels better soon.

Janice Hebert said...

So good to see you here Robin, we've missed you! I, too, wish there was something I could say to help your meloncholy. One thing that helps my mood is to get outside in the garden. It's good that you've got so many projects to work on! That's one thing, I can't complain that I have nothing to do, I have so many things to finish lol. But on the other hand those things can overwhelm me. I love "the Beast"! It would look great either way. I've never mounted one on a frame, would love to see how that's done. Thank you for the update and know that we all care. Jan in MA

yaya said...

The other day I made the comment that it's been a hard year. They said that everyone has has a hard year. They were right. Everyone has a story. We don't know what's happening in lives. But we can be there to help in many ways. I don't know the extent of your story but I enjoy your blog. I enjoy seeing your talent with fabric and thread that I sure don't posess. I can only send a blog hug and real prayers your way. With each new stitch I hope your troubles are sewed up and peace is the finished product! Hugs Robin!

Linda said...

I’m sorry to read of your difficult times. There really isn’t anything put to keep going. I’m grateful that your creativity is somehow pulling you forward. Your work is lovely and, even though I don’t personally know you, I trust and sense in my heart that you are, too. Eventually, all will be well.

Prims By The Water said...

Hoping your ghosts get cleared out as you are truly missed too! The beast is amazing! I do not think I will ever hook stars...too complicated for me. Yours are just wonderful. The frogging...not so sure I would have the patience for that either. Hope your lake reno is going good. Janice

oldgreymareprimitives said...

Robin,

Take all this caring and love from all those friends up above me and wrap yourself up in it. You are not alone.
z

elaine allerton said...

You have been missed!!!
I always enjoy UR posts,,,,and UR works,,,,
Thanks for posting,,,and hoping things get much better,,,,
Love UR cross stitch,,,and UR whale,,,,for some reason I have always loved whale mats,,,and never hooked one,!!!
Elaine🏡🏡🏡🏡🏡

Ms Peppercorn said...

Where do I start. I want to express how seeing the email about a new Cranky Crow posting creates such joy in my empty world. I want to thank you for coming back sooner than I expected. I want to ask how Snow Dog is doing. I want to tell you how often I wonder about you and your family and life in Nod. I will tell you I totally love your works of art and so appreciate you showing them to us and probably would not rip out the eagle, but I’m not sure because I may never finish it either if it bothers me too much. All of my comment sounds like a ten year old wrote it but what the heck....So glad you posted!

Julia said...

You have been in my prayers every morning. I hope that you will soon find balance in your life and life will again a source of joy for you.
Hugs and prayers,
Julia

Janet-Olde Crow Primitives said...

Hello Robyn. Hoping things get better soon. I love all of your handmades. I am so falling behind. So much to do, not enough time.
Have a wonderful evening.
Janet

Anonymous said...

Dearest Robin

You have been deeply missed....
Even as I (and we all) wanted you to depart to undertake whatever you needed for your heart (whatever form that did/does/will take), it is WONDERFUL to have word from you.

I don't know where I first saw this quote (below), but it's seen me thru many a harsh time.I hope it's of some small comfort to you:

"All will be well in the end - so if all is not well, it is not yet the end"

xo Issy

Farmhouse prims said...

I am so sorry that things are weighing heavy on your shoulders. You are always so uplifting to everyone else. Wish I could give you a hug. You are so talented. I love both of your projects. they are beautiful. Even though I have done a few needle punch projects, I don't feel like I have mastered it. Hang in there, I know things will get better.
Hugs,
Lecia

Heritage Hall said...

Joining the others in praying you emerge victorious from this slump..
sometimes we have to wade through it to find our answers and then let it go. These are not the happiest times for so many and that you are
back spinning your word craft is a good sign that you cannot be beaten..... Just love your projects... I see lovely stars in a circle and would not ponder it further. Hope you are getting enough rest and
finding happy moments in the day to tide you over. Special hugs.