Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Rough Waters

It's been the better part of a year since I've been here to stay.
Much has changed, much never will.

I was apprehensive about what I would find as a tornado had touched down on the other side of the lake about a week and a half prior.

{Boat and lift flipped completely upside down.}

Thankfully, my little island was unscathed.

I have been here a week.
My days have been spent cleaning, making lists, searching for things that are no longer where they were...things that are, simply, no longer anywhere.

More pieces to pick up, more holes to fill.

Inevitably, and sadly, some pieces will never fit back together, some things will never be found, and some holes will never be filled.

The latest (3rd? 4th?) phase of remodeling is relatively complete.

{Yes, I know I promised someone before and after photos...I will do that at some point...}

The next phase(s) won't start until January or later.  I need to catch my breath and see if my heart is still here.

The first few days were difficult.  No television, no phone, no internet.  No overhead fans working, garbage disposal not working, leak in the laundry room, broken front porch light, broken back door, light switches not working, non-functioning clocks, no window screens... Too much activity on the lake, too many fireworks, too much filth, too much to do, too many memories, too many ghosts, too many haunts.
And something of which I cannot yet speak.

But the days were pleasantly warm, and the sun shone.
I caught the swans and their young swimming in the far bay.

That, too, changed, however.  The clouds moved in, the winds quickened and the lake darkened.

There's still rough waters ahead.


marly said...

I could feel your soul in your words. How very difficult the first days there must have been. But you managed.

The white is soft, the floors are great with that fireplace, the view is spectacular, the quirks will be fixed. Hopefully in time, searching will end in acceptance and peace.

jabblog said...

The tornado left your little island in peace by chance or design.
Holding on or letting go - a difficult decision to make.

Linda said...

You are a wonderful and intriguing writer.

Saundra said...

The other three comments said it all well and encompasses my thoughts as well.

Nancy said...

I wish you inner peace.

Maureen said...

I echo others saying that your writing is very touching and moving. It feels as if it come from deep within your soul. I
I’m sad for whatever pain has torn through your life. Perhaps continuing the fixing of this hose will chase out the bad and give you some healing as well. I wish you peace

Maureen said...

Oh my….typoalert! House not hose

Lauren said...

Sending love and hugs.
May you find peace in your beautiful surroundings. Hopefully time will heal your heart and soul.
Rugs and Pugs

NMK said...

It looks so beautiful there ....everyone's comments say it all for me too ....take care

Betty said...

Don't let it all get the better of you. I saw a glimmer in there. Hope you'll accept a hug from a stranger. The place looks like heaven... to me. Betty

yaya said...

Rough waters indeed. I can see that even with all the mishaps you have held your ground there and hopefully soon it will be what you envision it to be. My brother sold his place on Lake Nikomis and lives in Merril near his daughter for now. They haven't decided where they will eventually land. It was a tough decision for them but my sister-in-law has some health issues they are focusing on now. Take care my friend and don't let the ghosts get the upper hand.

Heritage Hall said...

Ghosts, shadows, they whatever; you have proven yourself tenacious and prevailing ...and the remodel looks like steps
in the right direction. There is something magical about your space
on the lake and what a retreat...Sorry about the disturbing storm.

oldgreymareprimitives said...

You're strong- you will weather these storms. Try to break it all down into segments- dealing with the whole is overwhelming for sure.

The blessing is your island was passed by.

I'm currently practicing saying the five good things of each day first thing. It's hard some days, but even stating 2 or 3 is a good start on a day that can be stressful.

sending best wishes <3

WoolenSails said...

Your place looks like such a peaceful and beautiful place to gather your thoughts and begin again. Even in our area, has weather that has destroyed a lot of homes, and flooding. May you find peace and a new focus as you move forward.


Shrimpton and Perfect said...

The lack of home comforts is horribly discombobulating, I too would struggle. But you sound like you have a plan of action. Your energies will force the negative away and I hope bring a sense of calm and comfort. Not for the first time I wish I could pop round and lend a hand. All will be well my friend.

Julia said...

Dear Robin, my apologies again for being so tardy to check all the blogs. I commented on the newer one first and it was so late that I had to give up for the night. I had family visiting for several days, etc.

I said it before and I'll say it again, you have such a poetic soul and you feel so deeply but with such wisdom. I wish I could express my thoughts as well as you, but I was not gifted that way. I can only write when I'm inspired by a higher power.

I admire you immensely for your strength. You have been through so much this past year and before, yet you keep going, one foot forward and then the other foot, and you keep moving on.

My beautiful friend, you are stronger than you can ever imagine. I believe in the saying, What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Your vacation home by the lake looks so beautiful and serene by the water. The swan and her babies gingerly floating on the water, is so special. It can become peaceful again.

Such strong wonderful memories of the past and the not-so-good memories come and go and return again. You can't change the past but you can look forward to the future. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I pray for courage for you. Big hugs.

Your tardy friend, Julia

Primitive Stars said...

Morning Sweet Crow, my heart hurts for you, how sad to see your lake house like that.. you will weather storm Robin, I have faith though as hard as it is sometimes. Wish I was closer I would help in anyway I could, just sit and listen even…..I adore swans, what a thrill to catch the family….. I always enjoy my visits with you, take care, love and hugs! Francine.

Lori from Notforgotten Farm said...

resilience ~ tenacity ~ recovery ~ calm-ness & above all, peace in your soul.
I wish these for you my dear...


Your return sounds like a journey of resilience and reflection. The aftermath of the tornado must have been unsettling, and the challenges you've faced since are truly daunting. It's heartening to read about your determination to rebuild and move forward, even with the inevitable losses and changes. The presence of the swans and their young in the far bay brings a sense of calm amidst the chaos – a reminder of nature's continuity.

I hope you find the strength and clarity you need in the coming months as you plan the next phase of remodeling. Remember to take moments for yourself to breathe and reflect.

By the way, I recently posted a new blog entry about styling jeans and a tank top for date night. I'd love for you to check it out when you have a moment:

Trace4J said...

And through it all I believe He has you in the palm of HIS hand.
You are amazing and so strong. Maybe you are right where you should be.
Praying for peace for you.

Farm Girl said...

I love your pictures and the lake. I am so sorry for the hard places you are right now.
I wish I had better words.
I will keep praying for you.