Saturday, February 20, 2021

The Way Things Go in Nod

*Note: My original post has been edited to correct a grammatical error brought to my attention by "Annonymous":   I was not attempting to "UNthaw" my pipes, but THAW them.  Yes, I do know the difference, but it is an unfortunate colloquialism here which I used inadvertently.  I also did not take much time, under the circumstances, to review my post before publishing, so from one grammar Nazi to another, I do hope I can be forgiven.  I do not know what I would have done without you Annonymous....but somehow know why you choose to be "annonymous."  (And, did you miss the mis-spelling of "satellite"? Or were just taking pity on me? LOL)

Yes, it's going to be one of those "it started with" posts.

 It started with the cold....bitter, bone-chilling cold.

The cold led to frozen water lines, as it does every year.  Despite my efforts and several Mr. Heaters, I was unable to unthawthaw them.

Soooo, my husband engaged his "buddy" to come over to see what he could do because my husband was ice fishing and could not be bothered.

"Buddy" came over and concluded the issue was (as I already knew) the fact that the water pipe was on an exterior block wall of our basement...hence why this happens each and every year and I just happen to have a small arsenal of Mr. Heaters.

But, Buddy decides he can not only unthawthaw the water pipes, but he can FIX the problem once and for all.  (I cringed as I had already consulted with several other contractors in previous years and they said there really wasn't much that could be done.)

Despite my protests, Buddy began all sorts of machinations and noise-making, and trips down the stairs (salty, snowy, boots and all) and back up the stairs, to the store, and back from the store, down the stairs and back up.

Buddy is going to divert some of the heat from the furnace in the adjoining room to the ceiling area in the basement in the vicinity of the pipes.   This involves no less than 3 trips to the store (in so many days), a perpetual mess in my basement, and every light switch in the vicinity left on for me to go down and shut off.  Oh, and did I mention it also involves me crawling up on a ladder, removing (sharp) tin ceiling tiles and turning a switch on and off???? 

Three days, a pound of wood shavings, a virtual path of salty, dirty footprints, two burnt out light bulbs, and several unidentified metal pieces (left for me to step on in the darkness occasioned by the burnt-out light bulbs) later, Buddy concludes this plan is not going to work.

Not easily deterred, Buddy moves on to Plan B....which also involves numerous trips up and down the stairs (salty, snowy, boots and all) and to town over a course of another 3 days.

Then the drilling began.

And then the television satellite* signal started to falter....

I yell to Buddy to stop, which he does only long enough to inform me that nothing he is doing could possibly have anything to do with the television.

And then the television went out...completely.

After arguing with Buddy that SOMETHING he did affected the wires that run through the ceiling area in which he was drilling, Buddy leaves and goes to the store...again.  When he returns, he spends several hours trying to figure out what might have gone wrong and trying to convince me it was not his fault by showing me the size of drill bit he was using. How this is relevant, I have no clue.  Unsuccessful in restoring our television signal, Buddy leaves to consult with his ex-brother-in-law....and go to the store...again.

For the sake of expediency, I will condense this by simply saying that Buddy eventually did get our television signal restored....

And then my internet went out.

I am completely accustomed to this happening from time to time, and can almost do hard reboots of my pc, modem and router in the dark (but not quite which I found out when I tried because my husband decided to go to bed at 6:30 after (another) hard day of ice fishing and sleeps in the adjoining room.)

I waited until the following morning and re-did the hard reboots....several times (but not as many times as Buddy went to the store).  Nothing worked.  I eventually gave up and called our internet provider only to be told that there is nothing wrong on their has to be something wrong with.....the cable....which cable so happens to run along with the television satellite cable that Buddy did NOT do anything to.

At the risk of invoking my full and complete wrath, Buddy returned...spent several hours in  the ceiling...left to once again consult with his ex-brother-in-law...returned...and then left while I was at an appointment, not to all.

I finally called someone who came out today and took at things. He crawled up into the area in which Buddy was working and saw what Buddy did up there....  Diagnosis:  He suspects that Buddy nicked or tagged the RG6 cable that runs from the dish outdoor to my modem.

Bad news (you weren't really expecting good news at this point, were you?):  We will have to take down the wood ceiling in the downstairs bath to access the cable that will have to be replaced.

So....I have no internet.  I have extremely spotty cellular signal here (when Mars is aligned with Pluto, the moon is full, and the cock crows before daylight) and, therefore, can only access the internet for brief fleeting moments a few times during a day.  I wrote this post in bits and fits while sitting waiting for a prescription to be filled and during those brief otherwise moments.

That is how things go in Nod.  That is one more reason this crow is cranky.

Oh...and that first photo??? No, that's NOT Snowdog.... It's a wolf....on the front of our house. 

That's the way things go in Nod.

(My apologies for the length of this rant. This post was intended to be about some stitching updates...but I got sidetracked....and I guess my "window" of time for being able to download/upload photos from my phone was up.)




Saundra said...

I thought that was a Wolf!!!! So glad I don't live in NOD and if I did I'd move the F outa there.

acorn hollow said...

Yikes that is cold we get cold but not that cold we can get to teens below.
I am so sorry you have had your fill of fixing and fussing. Does heat tape not work on those kind of temps? I know that is what some people use here to keep the pipes from freezing. My frustration level would have been through the roof also.
I have never seen a wolf here not sure we have them but we have coyotes lots of them that bother the farm below us, especially in the spring with the young calfs are born horrid things.
I hope you warm up get internet and tv soon.

Jean Bee said...

Oh my goodness, I know it's not funny but it was funny reading your post. I certainly hope Buddy is going to pay for all the repairs! Hopefully everything is fixed by now.

oldgreymareprimitives said...

Is it Ok to say that Buddy and the man who gave him to you are asshats?

SO sorry- as if the world in general is not enough of an issue.

Farmhouse prims said...

I am so sorry you have had all of the pipe problems. I hope things can get fixed. Have you ever just let the faucet drip in the winter so things don't freeze up. I am sure you have tried everything. And I understand about the internet going out, it can be so frustrating. Hope everything gets fixed in the land of NOD. hugs

Laurie said...

When things go bad in nod they really go to hell in a hand basket lol,, I would think you are now finished with the disasters and from here on out smooth sailing, maybe? My condolences on a week of bad happenings! Take care, chin up, tomorrow is another day and all that,,,,❤️

susan hemann said...

OMG!! I'm so sorry. Honestly, can I just say men will not admit that they do not know what the hell is wrong and leave it to the experts!

I'm surprised you did not scream

I sincerely hope things improve

Julia said...

I'd be a cranky crow too if all this was happening to me. Your cold temperature is unbelievable. No wonder your water pipes are frozen.

I can feel your frustration and I don't blame you. I think that Buddy became part of the problem and not part of the solution.
I hope that you got back your internet and TV reception restored.

I hope that you can get your water pipes thawed and order restored in your life. When I worked at the farm and the temperature fell to -27℃ or -16 ℃ the water pipes would freeze in my end of the barn and I used a hairdryer to thaw the pipes, then my husband bought me a heat gun. My feet would freeze from the cold cement floor. I sympathize with you. The wolf would make me very uneasy. Living in Nod is not for the faint of heart.

I hope today is a better day for you.
Hugs, Julia

Dicky Bird said...

I'd be a little more than a cranky crow, I'd be pecking someone's eyes out! WTH really?!? You know someone knows they "did" something, when they deny "I didn't do"...just my experience. We had wolf tracks really close to our house too. So much for our state and county broad band sucks! Well, on the upside, they's going to be in the 30's...we will see. Hang in there friend!

Olde Dame Holly said...

The situation, while not funny, was hilariously described. I felt like getting a bowl of popcorn and sitting back while the whole unfortunate comedy of errors unfolded. I hope you are soon back to full connectivity, no thanks to Buddy of the Muddy, Salty, Snowy Boots!

Ms Peppercorn said...

So I am imagining that Mr. Cranky Crow is kind of in denial that this is his fault 😆. Oh, I did gasp when I opened the blog thinking I was seeing the whole Snow Dog! I don’t believe your pictures of him have shown his face. At least not since I have been following. But to see a wolf that close! I would be in awe! You do live in a magical place. 🧙🏻

NMK said...

Yikes !!!! What a PITA !!!! Hope that's all for a Very long time !!!
Hope Spring comes soon !!!

Rugs and Pugs said...

About the only words I have are WTH, ugh and so sorry. You do, though, have a gift for writing to keep us reading.
I hope the pipes are now thawed and your internet will be restored soon.
To me, Nod = hell (though I thought hell to be a bit warmer) ;-(

Jennie in GA said...

We have guns down here in the south. Sounds like it might be time to use one. I don’t know if I would start with your hubby or Buddy🥴🤪🤪

Shrimpton and Perfect said...

What a bleedin nightmare. I suspect we've all had a similar kind of experiemce with a handyman. But to say your's was prolonged would be an understatement. I just wish they wouldn't carry on with things when they are clearly out of their depth. Hang in there honey, this too will pass.

marly said...

Mars is not aligned, the moon isn't full, but you just can't stop a cock from crowing which is probably when you had that brief connection. Husband's unused camp water lines were wrapped with heating cables that prevented freezing, some were slit to slide over in wall. Too bad that wouldn't work for you. Hope your state thaws!!

I used to get my hair cut at an in home salon. She loved animals and I was always happy to engage with her dogs. One large beauty plopped its head in my lap and looked up at me with the most unusual pale eyes and an odd stare. I asked if he was new and what was the breed. She said .... he's half wolf. And illegal.

yaya said...

Your wolf is beautiful but that would scare me to death! What a mess your "Buddy" left for you. I hate any projects because there's no such thing as an easy one. When my dear Father-in-law was alive he and Jack would start a project with the immortal words: "This is going to be a breeze"..and then I would break out into a sweat. Nothing ever went right but thankfully in the end..unlike your came out good. My brother who lives down your road on Lake Nokomis is pretty handy. I'm really hoping he wasn't the Mr. Buddy! You have every right to be cranky...or kill someone...your choice!

Anonymous said...

Why did you want to *UN*thaw the water if the pipes were already frozen?? Unthaw means to freeze.

Prims By The Water said...

OMG Robin. I think I would be spitting mad at Buddy. NEVER let him your home again I say. I knew that was a wolf and not Snow Dog. Snow dog is a beautiful pup. I hope things get better for you. Our temp was 13 below but not complaining seeing yours. We had hoarfrost this morning which was breathtaking. Janice

Julia said...

I hope it's getting warmer out there in your parts and that your pipes will not unthaw again, lol. Honestly, what a nightmare you went through.
Spring is on the way and I'm counting the days even though we have had a relatively pleasant winter for once. I'm not a winter person...
Hugs, Julia

Wendy @ Ravenwood Whimzies said...

Goodness...enough is enough. Time for Spring to come. Hang in there! Hugs

3millplainrd said...

So, is Buddy still on the job?

3millplainrd said...

Don't worry about the wolf. Just keep an eye on your small animals and when your dog is outside. When weather gets better he/she will retreat into the wooded areas.

Janet-Olde Crow Primitives said...

Wow.........we have coyotes, but no wolves. I hope spring arrives soon. It has been bitterly cold here too. Can't wait to get into my gardens. Have a great week.

moosecraft said...

Ick! That is just way to cold... so sorry it was made worse by your "buddy". I would be more than cranky... I'd be in a heated truck heading to warmer climates...

Donna said...

This is my first time to your blog and was captivated by your story. I think so many of us with a husband and a buddy can relate :-) Hope these worries are behind you now.

Issy said...

Oh my dear crow......
It's not that I lack for words ~ but rather that there are no words that are POLITE to share in public! I am beyond sorry for each layer of frustrated, avoidable, left-to- you-alone-to-deal-with (and completely unnecessary) agony. So sad also for your being swept along within the seemingly never-ending-ness of it all (some "gifts" should NOT keep on giving)! How I hope this string of disasters (amid all ongoing others) finds an end soon. xo

Farm Girl said...

Oh my goodness!!! I just can't imagine that kind of cold. I also can't even imagine seeing a wolf that big just going down the road.
I am so glad that it is fixed now.
I do hope that you have an early spring.
I wish I could send you our nice warm weather.
I am so glad I stopped in today to read your posts. I love them, I think you are the best writer and story teller.

WoolenSails said...

I admit, I never edit my posts, too lazy, so no idea if I make mistakes, lol.
You made me laugh, which is easy when it is someone else's story, but not funny when a husband does the same thing, fixes one things and breaks a few others, forgets things at the store and runs back several times to get what is needed and then back again for parts to repair what he broke. Hopefully things will calm down and you can relax a bit.


Jane and Lance Hattatt said...

Darling Robin,

Goodness, gracious!

We have been glued to this horror story and, just like watching a thriller on the television [except we have not owned a television for 40 years, but we have great imaginations]we were too scared of what we might read but we still carried on to the end. You are right. It is not a happy ending. Indeed, it is not an ending at all and could very well turn out to be just the beginning of some 'Tale of the Unexpected' which would be reserved for late night viewing [if one had a television] so that small children are not deeply affected by what they might see or hear!

We are entirely uncertain about what ice fishing might be but we suspect that this is a winter sport of enjoyment for your husband, rather like golf except perhaps one strives to pull something out of a hole rather than putting a ball in. Nevertheless, having substituted himself with 'Buddy', we would certainly ensure that there is no more ice fishing until Cranky Crow Towers is back to full working order.

We are not surprised to note that Buddy has an 'ex brother-in-law' and would politely suggest that he becomes an ex-Buddy just as soon as everything is working again.

How you have managed to stay sane is amazing to us. You are a saint.

Just one more piece of advice, if we may be so bold, and that would be to say that when the Buddy bills arrive, you spend the day ice fishing.

We shall expect you on the airwaves.....sometime soon we hope.

Ronda said...

Oh goodness, Robin. What a story, knowing me, I would have went up there with Buddy and probably took over, lol. Kicked his butt to the curb.

It is looking like Spring already here in Indiana, the crocuses are up. We had a lot of snow last week, but as usual, if you don't like the weather in Indiana, just wait until tomorrow, it will change, always does.

Maybe check with your cell provider, see if you can set up a hotspot on your phone, hate to see you not being able to connect out there in NOD.

Bama Planter said...

Robin, you should be "mad as an old wet hen" about all of this.

Robin said...

My goodness. I am so glad you can create a post about it. I think we have all had a Buddy in our lives.....mainly because they won't listen to our input. Yes Men are from Mars and Women from Venus and if the planets don't align and the moon is not full and the cock does not crow, all it lost.

Hope all is better now and internet is faster than ever.

BTW - Don't you just love the Armchair Generals who like to point out what you did wrong? Really, we all knew what you meant.

Kate said...

You have my upmost empathy. Dare I say my day suddenly looks good. ^^

Olde Dame Holly said...

I love colloquialisms! Unthaw is perfect, and it's an old, old world, beloved by many because WE KNOW WHAT WE MEAN and it is the perfect, piquant word for a Buddy situation.

Joanie said...

I would have severely hurt the "buddy" the hubby and Anonymous. You are a saint. "Buddy" would be getting the bills for his "repairs" and pray that the Cranky Crow doesn't peck out his eyes. Hubby would be out back in the doghouse and Anonymous would be blocked from the account.

You, my friend, should be sainted.

Heritage Hall said...

Robin, I must commend you for the keen perception and humor of your blog buddies....a
joy to read.. Glib Jennie in GA, a case in point. Your saga not such a joy and I am going to try to send you an article on why men are so happy.... a hoot... I envied you your paradise this past Summer, but now pour out my sympathy with regard to the Buddy happenings. Be not dismayed; there is a judgement day coming one of these days. Bless
your tenacity and self control.